THE CHRONICLES OF A HEARTBREAK: "eating my feelings"

Photographer: Tony Lapid

Model: Ancho Poncho

Makeup Artist: Jeralen Mascarinas
Designer, Hairstylist, Story, Set Decorator: ME!

Cupcakes: My little brother Jeffrey

Dealing with your feelings... People channel their feelings into all kinds of venues to help them cope with their broken heart. Some people go on major shopping sprees, do self-makeovers, get into rebound relationships, starving themselves, binging, drugs and alcohol... The list goes on. All of these may feel great at first, but they are only temporary fixes.

You try to fill the void with something else. At first you are able to numb out reality with it. The pain at that point is no longer screaming, but just a distant muffled cry. You are elated that you are able to trick your heart out of being hurt. But overtime, and pretty quickly, that eventually doesn't do it anymore. Nothing is able to mask the pain, but you try to do it anyways and do it with exaggerated efforts. You become so desperate to be free of this agony. You start unraveling, falling apart all over again. You see it happening, but you are unable to stop, because you want the pain to stop. You begin to slowly deteriorate... you begin to slowly die.

Hairstyle:

I applied a little bit of REDKIN styling paste through out her hair and pulled it into a high ponytail. I also left out a 3inch by 3 inch section of her bangs. I wrapped synthetic braiding hair around her ponytail to create volume in her bun. I applied some HERBAL ESSENCE flexible bamboo hairspray onto her real hair and teased like crazy. I smoothed it out a little and tucked the hair around the synthetic hair. And for her bangs, i teased this as well and rolled and tucked it back as well. I randomly pulled out pieces to make her a little disheveled.

Dress and Style:

I made this the same morning of the shoot. I created three different looks with this dress already. this was the 4h variation. I will be featuring all the dress sided by side later on. But I wanted to create wedding dress that was fun and flirty. So I hacked the mermaid dress and reattached the bottom to the waist line instead. I took the organza flowers that were originally along the bottom hem line and used it as a strap instead. I paired the dress with some colorful floral tights to play down the severity of a wedding dress. I also spray painted some shoes a flourecent pink and white paint splatters to give it a little more edge.